Recently, I took a trip down memory lane when I flipped through my high school yearbook from the year of my graduation, 1997. I won't bore you with all the after school special-like tales of my years in high school, i.e. how I was a nerd who was decent at sports and thus didn't fit in with either crowd, how shy I was around the fairer sex, how I was usually the sober guy at all the parties, etc.
What I will do is share with you some of the better messages my classmates inscribed for all of posterity in the yearbook. As discretion is the better part of valor, I have decided to keep these anonymous. All I can say is this: my friends, though often offensive, were pretty damned funny:
-Pass the salt someday. You, Waldo, and me are going to open that Hotel in California...(Note: I was a huge fan of The Eagles, the band, in high school.)
-O'Dork, I really don't like you. Kiss my a--.
-I didn't really see you that much that summer but I wouldn't have been much fun any way because that's when I found out that those AIDS ribbons people wore just were not working.
-But we gotta keep in touch, cause I really wanna see XXXX turn into a crazy alcoholic who doesn't care about grades.
-Yo. What's up. You are a piece of s---. But a good piece of s---.
-P.S. I can kick your a--, always remember that.
-Remember the basement, the undeniable power of Sprite to make everything better, and my infinite number of one week romances.
-Alright dude, here it is...you are the man, plain and simple.
-I'll miss you and your sexy ways. (Note: St. Joseph's Prep was an all-boys school.)
-Always remember, it's okay to play with dolls.
-Thank you for supplying me with gas money throughout the year. Anyway, the Eagles suck, except for Hotel California.
-Copying Latin homework from you was always a highlight in my lunch period.
-I am a slob and no one is going to want to room with me in college.
Thanks for the memories and the laughs, fellas.
4 hours ago