Not that you care in the least, but here are the flicks I'm most looking forward to this summer:
5. The A-Team. The trailer is a mish-mash of tones, being both gritty and fantastical. This film version of what was honestly a campy series has a lot of questions to answer. Can the new team live up to the old team? Is Quinton Rampage Jackson "BA" enough? Can Liam Neeson smoke a cigar as good as George Peppard? Can Sharlto Copley pull off a convincing Southern American accent? And most importantly, will we be lucky enough to see some villains actually die on-screen?
4. Iron Man 2. I enjoyed the first outing, which was light and fun, but never silly. I'm hoping the second is in the same vein. Not every movie has to be dark and not every "superhero" has to be riddled with angst.
3. Robin Hood. This story's been told a million times, but Ridley's directing. That's right, Ridley. Also, the rumors about all the shenanigans on-set, from the constant rewrites to Crowe and Scott butting heads at every turn, could produce a Casablanca like effect, creating a whole greater than the sum of its parts...or it could render the movie complete and utter crap. I have faith in Ridley though, not just because of Alien and Bladerunner but because of the underrated Kingdom of Heaven, a solid period piece that suffered from mismarketing.
2. Inception. Christopher Nolan, two years removed from The Dark Knight, brings us his contemporary sci-fi story set "within the architecture of the mind." And that's about all we know of the story. This flick's plot has been more closely guarded than my Darth Vader toy carrying case. Not even Fiona will be allowed near that. Upon my death, it will be buried with me for my journey into the Underworld. Just kidding...sort of. But back to Inception - the trailer looks impressive as hell. And Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the man.
1. The Expendables. Watch the trailer now. No really, watch it now. This could be the action film to end all action films. A throwback to the testosteronic 80s, when heroes didn't even know what a feminine side was, and when cheesy one-liners were just as awful but somehow not so cheesy. This flick boasts the best kick-some-ass, take-no-prisoners cast ever: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren (who pulled the stake out of his heart?), Randy effing Couture, Steve Austin, Mickey Fashion Sense Rourke, Terry Crews, and Eric "who-the-hell's-Julia?" Roberts.
43 minutes ago