Do The Amish Play Golf?

For all my life, this question has plagued me. But after spending a few days in Lancaster County with the family, I now know that yes, they do. They don't use clubs; they use "bats."

Not only do they play golf, but apparently they have no qualms with using a golf cart either. I was told this is permissible because technically they do not own the cart; renting or borrowing or leasing such a contraption is perfectly acceptable under the rules.

Bear in mind I've done zero research on this. I'm just repeating what I was told by a fellow non-Amish guy who's lived in Lancaster County for several years after we spotted an Amish foursome on the course.

Something in the Water in Northern Ireland?

How is it with a population of 1.68 mill (according to wiki) does a country the size of Connecticut produce three different major champions in golf in the span of thirteen months?

First Graeme McDowell took the US Open last year, then his buddy Rory McIlroy won it last month, and now their forerunner of Northern Irish golf, Darren Clarke, got to hoist the Claret Jug today after winning the Open Championship at age 42.

I've always been a fan of Darren Clarke, and his win today comes as something of a surprise. It was widely thought his best years were behind him, but somehow he managed to put four great rounds of golf together at just the right time for his first major championship. Clarke's a good guy who lost his wife to breast cancer a few years ago. Since then, his form's been understandably off but he never gave up the dream of winning the Open Championship. And obviously that romantic stubbornness has finally paid off.

So what is it about Northern Ireland and its golfers?

I'd like to say it has to do with perseverance. The Northern Irish have had to endure a lot in the past century and it has undoubtedly hardened them. You need to be able to weather the storm of bad luck and bad bounces inherent in the game, especially so in the two Open championships, in order to claim victory. The Northern Irish, to me at least, seem to have a wonderful appreciation for irony and an ability to laugh off the bad breaks. They're also gutsy. It's these qualities that go a long way in the game of golf.

Why Golf Is The Greatest Game Ever Played

I can't take credit for this list, but it was too good not to post. Special thanks to Rongo Jugataris for this one.

1) The PGA doesn't have some of its golfers in jail every week.

2) Golfers don't throw bottles at or kick dirt on other people.

3) Professional golfers are paid in direct proportion to how well they play.

4) Golfers don't get per diem and two seats on a charter flight when they travel between tournaments.

5) Golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new contracts, because of another player's deal.

6) Professional golfers don't demand that the taxpayers pay for the courses on which they play.

7) When golfers make mistakes, no one is there to cover for them or back them.

8) The PGA raises more money for charity in 1 season than the NFL does in 2 seasons.

9) You can watch the best golfers in the world, up close, at any tournament including the majors, all day every day for $25 or $30. (I'm a bit skeptical about this price, but I'm too lazy to do any research this morning.)

10) Even in the nose bleed sections, a ticket to the Super Bowl will cost you over $300 to $1000 from a scalper.

11) In golf you cannot fail 70% of the time and make 9 million dollars a season, like the best baseball hitters (.300 batting average) do.

12) Golf courses don't ruin the neighborhood.

13) And best of all, here's why golf courses have 18 holes, instead of 10 or 20: During a discussion among the club's membership board at St. Andrews in 1858, a senior member pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out.

Here's my two cents:

-Golf is the only game where there are no referees, officials, or umpires. Players are expected to, and always do, call penalties on themselves.

-Golf is one of the few remaining sports that demands players be both gracious in defeat and humble in victory.

Drive For Show, Take Lessons For Dough

Amateur golfers everywhere, heed my advice. Do NOT spend hundreds of dollars on a new driver for that extra ten or fifteen yards you'll get off the tee. Chances are you'll only see those extra yards for a very short while. This is all related to the First Use Rule: the first time you try any new golf clubs, you will see dramatic improvements instantly. But these new-found skills will quickly fade away and you'll go back to hitting the ball like you always did. This is all probably distantly related to the Placebo effect.

For the love of god, you don't need a new driver every season. Trust me on this. Instead, take the four or five hundred dollars you were going to spend and put it toward a series of lessons. A set of decent lessons will cost you half that money. You can use the remaining money to pay for balls at the driving range instead, since you'll want to practice what you've learned in your lessons. Or, if you absolutely must have a new club, take that remaining money, get creative, and find that driver you're looking for used at a golf store or online.

Too many people spend all their money on equipment, which most of the time doesn't have any lasting impact on their golf games. Sure, if you're playing with a brassie, a new driver will help your game a lot. What I'm talking about here are the guys who, every March, are stopping in the pro shop to test out new drivers.

There are also golfers who spend hours and hours at the driving range, honestly looking to improve their games, but who for various reasons refuse to take lessons. All they usually end up doing is ingraining bad habits and bad moves into their swings; in effect all their practice is making them worse!

Take lessons. I understand the desire to "do it yourself," to be able proudly boast you're "self-taught." There are professional golfers who are self-taught, but I seriously doubt they never traded tips and advice with their buddies while on-course or at the range.

Ben Hogan was renowned for how much practice he put in and figuring out the golf swing on his own. But at various crisis points in his career, he received some good advice from his fellow touring pros that helped him out in the long run. And I'll bet most of us don't have the time Ben did to spend eight hours a day at the range.

And if you still think you can figure it out on your own, consider this: Tiger Woods takes lessons. He's taken lessons ALL HIS LIFE. If Tiger doesn't feel he's "better than taking a lesson," then you shouldn't feel you are either.

Happy Thanksgiving From Florida

Hello all. The missus and I are in Florida, visiting my parents. My aunt and uncle are also in town. We're having a great time, this being the first opportunity to see the folks' new house near Tampa. The men played golf yesterday, while the ladies went out to shop and eat. We started drinking and playing pool around three in the afternoon and kept going till one.

I've convinced my knees to call back the hit they put out on me for running the marathon. Little do they know I'm considering a run later today. We'll see what happens.

I hope everyone enjoys their holidays and time off from work. And I wanted to thank everyone that showed up for the Chat on Monday night. A good time was had by all.