First Celebrity Fatality From Swine Flu

I can't take credit for this, but it was too funny not to post. Special thanks to Rongo Jugataris for the pic.

One Of My Favorite Screenwriters Is...Scott Frank?

I love when this happens. You watch a movie, like it enough to look it up on IMDb, and see a name attached to it that sounds vaguely familiar. You click on the name and discover that this person has been involved with several other movies you really enjoyed.

This weekend, the wife and I revisited Dead Again, an overlooked and underrated movie from the early 90s starring Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson, back when the pair were still an item. The story follows Branagh as an LA private eye helping out Thompson, a woman suffering from amnesia and horrific nightmares that always end the same way: with a pair of old-fashioned scissors about to be plunged into her torso. The story is entertaining, literate, and has arguably two fantastic twists toward the end. It also features Branagh's personal idol, Derek Jacobi, Andy Garcia, and (Shhh, don't tell anyone because his name does not appear in the credits) Robin Williams in a terrific little role that foreshadowed his later work in Insomnia and One Hour Photo. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it because it's an interesting take on the detective story, and it's really well-filmed. (SPOILER ALERT) I especially love how the climaxes of both plotlines are intercut at the end of the film. Just don't take the ridiculously over-the-top death of the villain at the end too seriously (END OF SPOILER ALERT).

Anyways, I've always thought Dead Again was a well-written and very creative story, so after we watched it I did some snooping on IMDb. I saw that Scott Frank penned the screenplay, so I clicked on his name and made one of those great discoveries: I've really enjoyed a lot of this guy's stories.

It turns out Mr. Frank also wrote the screenplay for Get Shorty, Out of Sight, Minority Report!!!, The Interpreter, and...wait for it...The Lookout!

If you haven't heard of The Lookout, this one is worth checking out. It's a neo-noir set in the Midwest starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt as a former high school star athlete suffering from a brain injury that prevents him from remembering things for extended periods of time, who gets swept up in a bank heist. It's well-acted, and the plot is tight and well-executed. Not to mention, this was also Scott Frank's directorial debut, and he does a marvelous job.

So yes, I can honestly say that Scott Frank is now one of my favorite screenwriters. Check out Dead Again and The Lookout if you get a chance.

Writer's Blog

Warning: This post contains elements of self-indulgence, so if you're easily offended by this, stop reading now.

I have writer's blog. I was so excited when I thought up this term during my car ride this evening, thinking I had coined a clever if somewhat obvious phrase, but apparently, it's a common enough term to have found its way into the unholy of unholies, the urban dictionary.

For the last couple of weeks, I've had trouble coming up with things to blog about. I have only one rule when blogging: write about whatever I want so long as it isn't self-indulgent, look how great I am/woe is me crap. So I know I've hit rock bottom when I break the one rule I've set for myself.

How do bloggers combat this fairly common occurrence?

Some of my favorite bloggers have an overarching theme to their blog. My good friend, Nate Green, explores the nuances and oddities of language in fiction and in marketing in his blog, 500 Words on Words. Peter Rozovsky somehow manages to be prolific and accessibly esoteric with his wonderful blog, Detectives Beyond Borders.

Speaking of prolific, Seana Graham manages four of her own blogs, each one with its one motif, while also being a frequent contributor to many other blogs.

On the other hand, Adrian McKinty blogs about the "psychopathology of everyday life," to steal his turn of phrase, which is a pretty big umbrella covering just about anything and everything.

So yeah, I may take a week or so off from the blog to recharge and think up something more intelligent than "writing about the practices of other bloggers." See you soon. I hope.

Cinderella Story...

Tomorrow will be the second of two rounds of golf I've played in the last two years. It's going to be ugly...

I've gone to the range a few times this year and managed not to hit any shanks. Yet. I'm tempting fate by even writing that word, "shanks," but I'm not a superstitious moron, as I've explained before.

I'm hoping to shoot in the mid-80s. That's a reasonable number given the course I'm playing and the state of my game. At least they sell beer on the course, so if it's not looking good I can purchase some "aiming oil."

But if you want the real Cinderella Story, click here.

That's Alright, He Always Wanted To Be Captain USA...

RIP Dom DeLuise, you will be missed. So it looks like ole Burt and Dom won't reunite for another Cannonball Run flick. Well, okay, that was never going to happen anyway, but I must say I have a rather unhealthy affection for these two Hal Needham movies, especially the first, which features a great cast including Dino and Sammy Davis, Roger Moore parodying himself, and Jackie Chan Subaru Driver.

These two movies definitely qualify as '80s flicks: ridiculous premise, characters very broadly drawn, and loads of mindless fun that yes, does get stupidly silly sometimes. Still, though, this is the Burt and Dom show, and it brings back a lot of fond memories from childhood, most of which I spent watching HBO.

And nobody beats Captain Chaos/Captain USA.

I'll Pass On The Beer Pong; I Didn't Bring My Kevlar

Competitive endeavors tend to bring out the best and the worst in man. On the one hand, you get teamwork, class, and athleticism that is beautiful to behold, like the Boston Celtics' unbelievable run between 1957 - 1969 and the Bulls' dynasty of the '90s which was briefly interrupted by Jordan's first of many retirements. On the other hand, you get soccer riots, players with egos large enough to have their own gravitational pulls, and fans that resort to the worst kind of mob mentality creating and almost relishing in that utterly pointless us v. them mindset.

But who could have thought a harmless game like beer pong could end like this? Now I understand that combining competition and alcohol is probably not the best idea, but what the hell kind of argument over beer pong could end in a fatal shooting?

The Best Rejection I've Ever Received

This is not a tongue-in-cheek post. My sincere thanks to Uwe Stender of TriadaUS, a literary agency located in Pittsburgh, PA, for giving me the best rejection I've ever received.

I sent an e-query to Dr. Stender regarding my suspense thriller, Face Blind, on April 22, 2009. That same day, Dr. Stender asked me to send a hard copy of the full manuscript. Very excited, I sent it via regular mail the next day, April 23, 2009.

I opened the mail yesterday, May 1st, and sadly found one of those self-addressed stamped envelopes we writers are all too familiar with. Dr. Stender had returned my cover letter, but had also actually taken the time to write a personal note explaining why he'd rejected the story.

That Dr. Stender was able to respond so quickly while taking the time to explain his rationale is mind-boggling. Most agencies or publishers take weeks, usually months, to respond, and even when they do, it's in the guise of a form letter with no feedback whatsoever.

So, my sincerest thanks to Dr. Stender, a true professional. I hope perhaps someday we can work together, assuming I don't land a different agent before then.
____

I'd also like to thank Debbie Carter of Muse Literary--she too rejected my last two manuscripts, but she did so very quickly and even gave me some feedback on why she was passing.

Rita's Monthly Chat!!!

My good friend Rita Vetere is hosting her monthly chat this Monday starting at 8:00 PM EST. This month, Cindy Jacks and Sean Cummings are her featured guests. If history is any indication, it will be a great time!

Please stop by on Monday, May 4th at 8:00 PM EST for the festivities. You won't be disappointed.

Who Should I Dress Up As?

I know I'm tempting the green-eyed monster by writing this, but I have to make this announcement: I'm going to the "Philadelphia" Premiere of Star Trek on May 2, 2009. (Philadelphia is in quotes here, because the premiere is actually being held in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, which is very close to my home town of Marlton.)

I'm very excited to see this movie, as anyone who has had the misfortune of reading this blog on a regular basis already knows. I'm even more excited I don't have to wait until May 8th to see it on the big screen.

I've been to two premieres/advance screenings before, and I must say, it is an entirely different experience than regular movie-going. The audience attending the premiere consists of people rabidly excited to see the film. The theater has a charged atmosphere about it, and you don't have to worry about any ignorant a--holes talking on cell phones, being obnoxious, or otherwise ruining a cinematic moment for you. Just the opposite, in fact.

My wife and I were lucky enough to see Shaun of the Dead at an advance screening. Every seat was filled, everyone clapped at the beginning and the end, and one out of every two was dressed up as a zombie.

So, in keeping with the customs of the movie premiere, my question is this: who should I dress up as?

a) Captain Kirk (with a rug, of course)

b) Khan (with a fake He-Man chest, of course)

c) Spock (with fake ears of course)

d) Uhura

e) A Jedi Knight (to piss off the Trekkies, Trekkers, and Borg that show up)

f) Other

Tell me what you think by leaving a comment. Live long and prosper.

____

Special thanks to my sweet mother-in-law, Helene, for winning the tickets by listening to Oldies 98. We love going to the movies together.

You Need To Read...

The Unearthed, according to You Gotta Read Reviews.

Lupa at You Gotta Read wrote a nice review of TU. While I don't agree that the book starts off slow, it is always good to hear someone's honest opinion on one's fiction--it's the only way to improve as a writer.

Happy Birthday Danny Noonan

Remember that guy that played Ty Webb's (Chevy Chase) caddy in Caddyshack? Yep, today's his 54th freakin birthday!

Caddyshack just might be the most overquoted movie of all time, but here we go anyway:

"So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish eighteen, and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

Laugh Out Loud Humor In Fiction

Humor is tough to pull off in a novel. At least to me, it seems to be tougher to elicit a reaction from a reader than from a live audience when it comes to comedy. Very rarely have authors made me break into laughter; usually, humor in a novel produces the occasional smile.

On rare occasions, I will catch myself actually laughing out loud at a book. Usually, it takes a witty, somewhat ironic first person narrator to draw out this kind of response from me. Perhaps that says more about my own sense of humor than anything else.

Here are a few examples of books that have made me laugh out loud...

Nelson DeMille is excellent with humor, especially in the book Plum Island.

Paul Neilan wrote Apathy and Other Small Victories, which is sort of like Office Space as told by a raging nihilist. Paul's blog, though it hasn't been updated in awhile, gives you a feel for his humor, which definitely is not for everyone.

I only very recently came across Colin Bateman, who unfortunately is not that well-known in the US, but who is huge in the UK. I'm currently reading his debut novel, Divorcing Jack, and it's absolutely hysterical. Reading in bed the other night, my laughter woke my wife when I came across this little gem of a passage:

"We made love on the floor. It was nice. We had a bit of an argument about the lack of a condom. I volunteered to use my sock. She thought that idea was a) disgusting; b) stupid. Socks weren't watertight, or whatever. She said, "You wear a sock, not only will I have a baby, it'll come out wearing a bloody jumper." We compromised on my withdrawal.

I didn't. We British don't withdraw from Ireland."

Promote, Promote, Promote

Here we go with Round 2. Everybody had a lot of fun with this last month, so let's see if we can top it this month.

Promote whatever you want by leaving however many comments you'd like.

There is only one rule:

You can't promote anything for me.

I'll leave this post up for a couple of days.

This Man Listened to His Wife

I don't read much sci-fi, but in the last year I've read several novels by Jack McDevitt. Specifically, I got hooked on his Academy series, which mainly follows Priscilla Hutchins, a pilot of superluminal vessels. Similar themes and motifs run throughout McDevitt's novels, the main theme being that of first contact with an alien race or the artifacts left behind by them. McDevitt takes what I call a realistic approach to first contact: if there is anyone else out there, surely the odds are against us finding them or them finding us and even more so, the odds are almost nil that both races would be in existence at the same time given the vagaries of the universe, of the creation of life, and of evolution.

McDevitt excels at raising all the big questions one expects in any good science fiction story, and not unlike Dostoevsky, offers multiple views of every philosophical question raised by the narrative. The philosophy also never detracts from the overall sense of adventure in his stories: the universe is an enormous, wonderful, incomprehensible, and oft-terrifying place.

Thanks to wikipedia, I came across this little tidbit on McDevitt. Apparently, he wrote a short story that was well-received while attending LaSalle University. I don't know if at the time McDevitt wanted to write for a living or not, but certainly it must have been a possibility in his mind. Then, however, he read David Copperfield, and Charles Dickens's prose so intimidated him that he gave up his own writing. Some twenty-five years later, his wife encouraged him to try fiction again, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Of the ones I've read, my favorite McDevitt novel is Omega, which I believe works as a stand-alone even though it's technically the middle story in a series.

An Icon of Suspense Writers

Before Tom Clancy, before Ken Follett, before any of the other suspense writers you may have heard of, there was the one and only Frederick Forsyth.

Forsyth, a former journalist, started writing suspense novels in the late sixties. In Wellesean fashion, his first major publication, The Day of the Jackal is considered to be his best novel. Many, in fact, consider it to be the quintessential suspense thriller. TDOTJ follows two men, the first an assassin hired to murder the then French President Charles De Gaulle, the other a detective charged with tracking the Jackal down. It's easily one of the best books I've ever read and manages to succeed as a thriller despite the fact that the outcome of the story is never in doubt: in real life, De Gaulle was never assassinated.

It still amazes me that Forsyth was able to create so much tension in a story that could end only one way. If I ever figure out how he did it, I'll be in danger of becoming a very rich man.

Over the years, Forsyth has treated us with many other great suspense novels, and he is lauded primarily for his realism and meticulous attention to detail. To Forsyth's credit (?), there existed for several years a scheme for acquiring a false identity and UK passport called the "Day of the Jackal fraud" because of a loophole in British security that Forsyth identified and exploited for use in his novel.

One of my other favorite books of his is The Fourth Protocol, published in 1984 and later made into a decent movie starring Michael Caine and Pierce Brosnan. I still remember the experience of reading TFP, more so than most other books. I was no more than thirteen years old, and over the course of three or four days, I literally took it with me everywhere I went. I even remember reading it at the dinner table.

If you want to learn how to plot, I'd recommend picking up one of Forsyth's books. Be forewarned, though. He is such a master that you'll need to read it twice to be able to dissect it properly for study. During the first reading, you'll be too swept up in the plot to step back objectively and analyze it.